Lately I’ve been thinking on things, and haven’t written anything down to relieve my mind. So here I am now, writing something that’s been on my mind all year. I’ve been feeling like I’m real vulnerable now and feel like I let one person really make me feel so, but don’t know how I did that.... I’m guessing I didn’t do like I do with everyone else, whereas I lead with my logic and keep the emotional attachment locked up. Vulnerability is the susceptibility to physical or emotional injury or attack. It also means to have one's guard down, open to censure or criticism; assailable. Vulnerability refers to a person's state of being liable to succumb, as to persuasion or temptation. A window of vulnerability, sometimes abbreviated to WOV, is a time frame within which defensive measures are reduced, compromised or lacking. So I guess I had a WOV, and now that, that window has been open it’s hard to shut it. Again, I don’t why it is, but it is.

This feeling, my feeling, is not so isolated though. There are many people out there who feel vulnerable at times, or in some cases a lot. This feeling, to me, is not a good feeling to experience. Don’t know if it’s because I never felt it nor did I ever want to, or if it just really isn’t a good feeling period. Different ones deal with things differently, and I’m not quite sure how to deal with this one. Few of us wear our emotions on our sleeves, some of us open up at the first signs of weakness and most of us mask our feelings. I usually deal with things on my own, because I can trust and believe in myself. This one though, even though I know what’s up mentally, my emotions are now present and it’s hard to deal with emotions you don’t let out. In today's society we are taught to be strong and don't show any weakness. On the flip side, when others are in despair, we are taught to be compassionate and allow them to open up to us and share their feelings and views. At the same time, this action allows us to share a common ground with others enabling us to identify with our reservations and insecurities. For a brief moment we let go of the ideology of "who we should be and how we should act" and just FEEL AND BE in the moment. What we sometimes fail to realize is that at that very moment, that is the real you (just being you). No preconceived notions. A sub-category of vulnerability research is social vulnerability, where increasingly researchers are addressing some of the problems of complex human interactions, vulnerability of specific groups of people, and shocks like natural hazards, climate change, and other kinds of disruptions. The importance of the issue is indicated by the establishment of endowed chairs at university departments to examine social vulnerability.

“The concept of vulnerability expresses the multidimensionality of disasters by focusing attention on the totality of relationships in a given social situation which constitute a condition that, in combination with environmental forces, produces a disaster” (Bankoff et al. 2004: 11).

In military circles Vulnerability is a subset of Survivability (the others being Susceptibility and Recoverability). Vulnerability is defined in various ways depending on the nation and service arm concerned, but in general it refers to the near-instantaneous effects of a weapon attack. Recoverability is the longer term post hit effects, damage control and firefighting, capabiltiy restoration or (in extremis) escape and evacuation. Survivability is the ability to remain alive or continue to exist, the likelihood of being detected, identified, and hit. This concept I guess is how you can say I usually treat things and people. I’m about to sound like a movie cliché, but everyone I let in, leave; or do something to me they shouldn’t if we family, friends, or whatever. So just like Beyonce’s ‘Halo’ she had walls/a wall up, often when we let down that wall, we don't receive the feedback or reaction which we hope to acquire. In turn this diminishes our trust and increases our inhibitions in others. It is each of our responsibilities to understand and accept that those identical sentiments may not be reciprocated. We are all individuals, separate entities; therefore, will respond as such. However, this should not (but does) deter us from sharing our emotions. Over time most of us grow to recognize this reality and choose to exclude others completely (to save face), while others reach out and share their emotions regardless. With that in thought I personally think about survivability and recoverability and make sure not to get too attached to people. Plus the fact that I believe facts and logic should lead then feelings and emotions. When you let feelings and emotions lead and your facts and logic follow, your feelings can and will cloud your judgment.

Invulnerability is a common feature found in video games. It makes the player impervious to pain, damage or loss of health. It can be found in the form of "power-ups" or cheats. Generally, it does not protect the player from certain instant-death hazards, most notably "bottomless" pits from which, even if the player were to survive the fall, they would be unable to escape. As a rule, invulnerability granted by power-ups is temporary, and wears off after a set amount of time, while invulnerability cheats, once activated, remain in effect until deactivated, or the end of the level is reached. Depending on the game in question, invulnerability to damage may or may not protect the player from non-damage effects, such as being immobilized or sent flying. Comic book superheroes such as Superman are considered invulnerable. This is maybe why comic books and video games exist in this world. Just many other “relievers” in this world, they are present to let people think and hope for invulnerability. Writing and thinking on invulnerability now makes me wish I had that back, ha-ha, I had it and now I’m hurting and vulnerable. Maybe It’ll be gone soon, if now in a few months, hopefully by the end of the year. I can’t let this thing keep a hold of me for too long. I’m more than this one situation, this one WOV! In the end, it all boils down to how much intimacy we are willing to share and how much rejection are we capable of managing. On different days, in different environments and with different people, this answer may vary. Just be aware that each path will alter everyone's life in some way or form and will shed a new light.